If you've read What Started It All, you're probably asking if anyone would actually name their son "The Chin." The answer is probably yes. Have you looked at the names of some of these celebrity kids?! Apple, Rumer, Camera (tennis player Arthur Ashe's daughter), Puma and Moxie CrimeFighter (magician Penn Jillette's daugher - I swear to God - look it up)But, no, my middle son is not named The Chin, though the moniker is fitting. More on that later. For the purposes of this Blog, I'll refer to my boys as Thor (#1 son), The Chin (#2 son) and Doogie (#3 son). It probably is not kosher to assign them numbers, but it's convenient and is good for clarification. Note that Thor thinks #1 son means I like him best and while all moms know we love all our kids equally - except that wretched woman in England who has gone on national TV recently stating that she doesn't like her 11 year old daughter at all - I haven't had the heart to break it to him that the #1 simply refers to his placement in the chronological order of siblings.
Here's a brief snapshot of our family: me, Big Daddy (yes, I still refer to him that way even though all the boys have long since ceased calling him that), Thor, The Chin, and Doogie on the human side. Animals stack up like this: 3-legged dog named Brittany who is NOT named after the pop star, but rather because she is a Brittany Spaniel; Jake, our Border Collie pup and Annie the horse. And Liz the Lizard. And a handful of laying hens who have not been named anything at all. You might have noticed that we tend to lack creativity in the animal naming department. Not sure why that is, but a quick look back at the family pet album would confirm that we do, indeed, have a deficiency in this area:
We had a brown cat named Brownie. We had a black chicken named Blackie. We also had a chicken named Chicken Little and one named Chicka-Chicka-Boom Boom (don't get too excited - we didn't invent that one, either. It's a kids' ABC book we happened to be reading at the time). And, we had a Yellow Lab named, you guessed it, Yellow. Perhaps we're just lazy at the name game or maybe just forgetful. For example, when Big Daddy and I met, we both had Border Collies - in truth, that's what attracted me to him. His was named Katie and mine, a male, was named K.C. I worked my hot college chick mojo on Big Daddy and in no time at all we had joined forces, which is to say I moved in after two weeks of giving it very deep thought - I mean I had the wedding all planned out in my head - true story....anyway, we went to work on our small farm where we raised sheep and soon found that we could not "work" the dogs simultaneously because their names sounded too similar. You couldn't say "Katie, by" (which means left) or "K.C., way" (which means right) because the dogs would smack into each other in confusion over who was supposed to be going which direction. Somehow, K.C. became "Flash" and the name stuck. Now, when we recall the good ole' days and Big Daddy mentions K.C., I have no idea who he's talking about. He gives me the exasperated husband look that really just means, 'duuuuh,' and reminds me that K.C. and Flash were one in the same. Riiighht.....gotcha.
But enough about animal names. Those are the honest-to-God names we've given our poor, hapless animals over the years. Let's just say that the names of all human characters in all of my blogs will be changed to protect the innocent...even to protect those who are guilty as Hell...just to protect me from potential liability!
And lastly, I will admit that every one of my stories is rooted in the truth. Some are 100% true and need no embellishment - it's true - you can't write this stuff and truth IS weirder than fiction. Occasionally, I play with the story line a little but none of this is of great importance and no animals have been harmed in the making of any of these stories. So, please stay tuned for more!
